When you love someone deeply, letting go is never easy.
It might be painful when the time comes to let go of someone you still love but know you need to. Breaking up may have nothing to do with love. You might still love them deeply but are simply no longer a fit.
Sometimes the love it takes to let someone go requires a bigger love than to stay. You might want to stay, but deep down you know that it’s not right, or doesn’t serve either of you fully. It takes a bigger love to let them go and trust love itself.
Sometimes we hold onto old relationships that are too small out of familiarity.
Sometimes we unconsciously hold onto old partners and aren’t even aware that our heart is subtly closed to love, even if only a little bit.
We may even pretend to be confused, but holding on and trying to make a relationship work that doesn’t, won’t make it work.
It’s important to remember that you attract a partner into your life at a particular point because you have certain lessons for each other.
Your souls have made an agreement to serve each other’s growth and evolution long before you met physically.
Each person you attracted into your life at the stage you were in was to teach each other what you both most needed at that time.
Those lessons could last a day, a month or a lifetime.
The meeting with a person is a manifestation of your soul’s longing to grow. The purpose of relationship is to evolve, become the most authentic expression of yourself and realize your true nature.
Your partner will tend to mirror to you those very patterns and places within you that block your full expression.
They are uniquely designed to push your buttons and show you where you most need to grow.
When you both have the understanding of the real purpose of relationship, you are able to relate more consciously. And use your relating as a yoga for your soul’s expansion.
So how do you know when your relationship is over, and how do you let go?
There may come a point when something no longer feels aligned between you or you both stop growing. You are no longer growing individually, and also as a couple. You want different things, and grow in different directions.
The lessons that you have come together to teach each other are now complete. You and your partner are simply no longer a vibrational match.
This isn’t a bad thing, it’s a sign of growth. We often resist this completion, as we get attached to the relationship and the person.
If you and your partner continue to grow together in a similar direction and at a similar pace, then there’s no reason you couldn’t continue in relationship together.
However, many times we stay in a relationship way longer than is healthy or right.
How many of you have done this and known it deep down?
Sometimes a particular relationship or person has a very specific thing to gift you. They may not have everything you need in a relationship, but they have a part of what you most need at that time in your life. As you embrace the lesson, you heal and become more open and ready to love more completely. They have come to help prepare you for your life partnership.
Although it is very important, the ultimate commitment isn’t simply to each other as human beings in a relationship. As you both have your own unique soul journeys and will both change with time.
The ultimate commitment is to LOVE itself. Then your relationship is held in a bigger context. And no matter what happens, or if the form of your relationship changes, your commitment to love remains.
Even if you stop being in a relationship, the loving between you both doesn’t need to stop.
When your commitment is to love, you become committed to finding the most authentic form and expression of relating between you that would allow the most love to be expressed. This may mean you are together a whole lifetime, or it may mean 10 years.
Committing to love is really committing fully to serving your partners soul growth. It is a courageous commitment beyond your ego’s desire.
It not just about how long you stay together that determines success, although that can certainly be a part.
It is about the depth at which you loved fully, healed deeply, learned your soul lessons, and served each other’s growth.
– In loving fully, there are no losers. When you love fully, you always win because you get the growth of opening your heart. No one can take that opening away from you.
– Trust love. If it’s not meant to be with the person you are letting go of, then there must be someone even better waiting for you. Love is abundant and not limited to one person, as amazing as they may be.
Sometimes we get so attached to a particular person being the one. You have visions of spending the rest of your life with them, you see children, you could never imagine being with anyone else. It’s beautiful if that’s your destiny together in this life.
And it’s important to know that if you are truly meant to be together, then nothing will stop it. It just may not be the right time yet, and there may be experiences that you both need to go through to better prepare you to be in relationship with each other.
If your relationship is meant to be, nothing will stop it. If your relationship isn’t meant to be, nothing will make it. Let go and see.
– Surrender. Real love requires surrender. And in letting go, you have the opportunity to open to bigger love beyond what you think should be.
Sometimes it makes no sense why it can’t work out with someone you love so much. It might even sometimes feel like a cruel joke of the universe. But in reality, it’s a profound opportunity to surrender fully, to let go of control, and allow the highest good to unfold in your life.
Trust that you will love again, even if in the moment of letting go it seems far out. You will. You heart is resilient and powerful beyond what you can imagine. There are galaxies exploding in your veins each second. There is a miracle beating inside your heart. You are love and it’s the nature of love to love.
– Be tender with yourself in the process of letting go. Be gentle and make the space for grief. Make the room for sadness. Knowing as you let yourself authentically feel your tears, it will wash away the old and open you to the new.
– Thank and bless your ex. Any moment you have the opportunity to share your heart in the most vulnerable way with another human being is a true privilege and blessing.
Think about it for a moment…. You have served each other. Even though it may not have worked out how you thought or wished it to, their soul was the one that chose to teach you the tough lessons. Just think about the depth of love that their soul must have had for you to teach you those lessons. Bless them. Thank them. Love them.
Letting go of a person isn’t just about letting go of an external person. But it’s also about letting go of what they might represent within yourself, that may no longer reflect who you have become today. Ultimately you are letting go of that part of yourself. And opening to what is more right for you in love.
Sometimes just as you are about to let go, the person you were in relationship with shows up in your life. I have found that often it’s a test. It gives you the opportunity to truly heal any incompletions, choose to graduate the old relationship lessons and move on, rather than repeating the same karmic cycle again.
So beware if this happens.
Some people go back into relationship with the ex. And if you choose to go back to an old relationship, really make sure your ex partner has evolved and done the inner work necessary to show up fully in reality, in relationship with you today.
So what if breaking up with your romantic partner was done with as much love and respect as falling in love? Ultimately it’s not like the love goes away, simply the form of the love needed a different expression.
The love is always there.
Love is what you are.
When you let go, you allow the space for a bigger love to show up.
P.S. If you are ready to share your gifts with the world and live your purpose fully, join me at www.boundlessblissbali.com. Apply today for an interview!
P.P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!