It’s easy to be miserable.

In fact sometimes we get addicted.

Misery becomes familiar and comfortable in a strange way. We at least know what we will experience even though it’s painful.

It takes no courage to be miserable.

It takes real courage to be happy.

The root of misery is control. Control is really an illusion, as there is so much in life that is not in your control. When you try and control what you cannot, then suffering is your guaranteed result.

Control is the master addiction, the hardest to give up.

You will be controlled by what you try and control. The more you try and be in control you may find the less control you gain.

So much of our lives are spent trying to control something. As children in an effort to not feel the pain of certain experiences, we learned to shut down and not feel. We learned to develop all sorts of ways to protect ourselves from getting hurt and feeling pain. We developed all sorts of strategies to get love, approval and validation. We learned how and who to be in order to not feel the same pain again as children. We developed all sorts of intricate survival mechanisms.

All of this was in an effort to control our experience. The underlying intention was positive, to keep us safe or be loved but as we become adults those same mechanisms now limit your full expression.

What are you resisting in your life?

When you resist you suffer.

Trying to control your spouse, the weather, the government, the economy or your friends is a formula for guaranteed misery.

There is only so much you can control of what is outside. The outside world is constantly changing. One minute fortunes rise then the next minute they fall. One moment the sun shines and then it’s raining.

When you realize that you are really not in control there is a great freedom. Life has been here for billions of years before you. Life will be here long after you are gone.

Life is not to be controlled, simply each moment enjoyed. Each moment has a gift for you even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.

The more you try and control life the more anxious you are likely to feel.  When you let go of control things might indeed fall apart. But if they do then trust that they needed to. It wasn’t authentically aligned with you in the first place.

So let go and see what is seeking to happen for you. Trust that what remains will be for your highest good.

Resisting life and what is happening is a form of self punishment.

It’s when you accept life as it is and as it isn’t that you bring yourself into the flow. When you no longer resist life then you can meet the moment powerfully.

Resistance creates suffering. Whilst in a state of suffering you cannot effectively take action. Resistance just keeps you stuck where you are.

It’s when you are able to accept what is, that you are then free to choose how to respond, and deal with the situation effectively.

Let me make it clear, that just because you accept reality doesn’t mean you have to stay there. Accepting means you stop banging your head against the brick wall, trying to change what you cannot change.

Trying to change what cannot be changed is insanity.

You hold the lock and you hold the key.

At any moment you can set yourself free.

It’s then you experience a new reality.

Your freedom is in your hands.



P.S. If you feel ready to live your purpose and be free, join me on the journey of a lifetime!

12 comments on “How to make yourself COMPLETELY miserable…Guaranteed!

  1. Lisa on

    Best. Quote. Ever.

    “You can’t control what the DJ is going to spin, but you can control how you’re going to dance.”



  2. Maria on

    OMG…I sooo needed to hear this now. My fiance is going through a bit of “cold feet” now. While he expressed it in a loving way, and I feel that it’s a “phase” that a guy has to go through, it triggered a lot of insecurity and fear in me. After listening to you, Kute, I am going to spend today and the weekend taking care of myself and trusting that the universe will unfold in the most loving way possible for both of us. It actually will be nice to take a break from the hell known as wedding planning! So THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You have saved me a lot of tears. I’m going to treat myself to a delicious lunch right now! xo

  3. Kute Blackson on

    Thank YOU Maria! And you are QUITE welcome! I am very pleased to hear that my message got to you just when you needed it! Yes, take great care, nurture ones self and TRUST! Big LOVE to you!

  4. Marta S. on

    Here’s yet another way..Live someplace that doesn’t work for you in any way. 100% guaranteed to make you miserable as well. Finding out the right place-that’s a hard one, but hopefully much better than the wrong place that doesn’t work. Its so not worth it to live someplace you can’t do well..Don’t let other people’s lifestyle choices mess up your life..

  5. fabienne sade on

    dear kute thank you, since you have been in israel i succede to keep that felling of godess and the oppurtunity to choose at the moment where my soul should be. but i must say that the habbit l and the past live together all the time and i need the remainders . so i need it this morning and thank u and loves u for being a part of my greatness life. fabienne


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *