Are you looking for the ONE?

Stop waiting. You are the one.

There are hundreds of books out there claiming to teach you how to ATTRACT your soulmate, not to mention a zillion techniques.

I don’t believe that your soulmate is something you ATTRACT, rather is something that you ARE. Your soulmate is simply an expression of your Self. As you connect more with your soul, that perfect mate will come to you as a mirror manifestation of who and what you are. It is not about finding your soulmate, but removing the barriers, illusions and blocks to the realization of yourself as Love.

BE your SOULMATE. Your own soul is your ultimate mate. Your soul is the source of your true fulfillment. As you recognize who you are, you realize a deeper dimension of your innate wholeness. Out of this wholeness the outer manifestation of your soulmate happens.

As you cultivate this relationship with yourself, and see the truth of your being. A deep intimacy opens up. A deep communion with everything. The feelings of aloneness dissolve as you realize that you are “all one” with all things and that you are profoundly connected with everyone. At the deepest level everything and everyone is your soul mate. There is only “The One.” All of life is the One Source manifesting as a multiplicity of form. From this place of wholeness you are no longer seeking to get something. You are complete. You know that you are Love itself.

When you drop your search for the one, you will find what has never been lost: You. As you give up waiting Love blossoms more fully and comes alive in your heart. You become Love alive. This is the most attractive quality. This energy is palpable and felt by those around you.

If you have ever or are currently debating in your mind “Is this person the ONE?”

Ultimately, they are “the one” that is in front of you right now. They are the one that is inviting you into a deeper possibility of loving. The person in your life right now is giving you the opportunity to open your heart more fully, heal more deeply, and love more freely. Regardless of whether you are with them for a week, a month, a year or a lifetime.

Rather than looking for the one, Be the ONE. Be the one that loves each moment fully. Love each moment like your dear lover. Love this very moment as if it were your soulmate.

If in the aftermath of a relationship, you feel heartbroken, know that even though the relationship might have ended, you dared to open your heart and love, and no one can take that away from you. By the act of loving your heart will never be the same. It will have expanded to hold a bigger capacity for love.

Because a relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean it was a failure. The real question is  “Did you grow?” Did you become more of who you really are? Did you learn the lessons that brought that person into your life?”

So long as you got the lesson, then the relationship was a great success.

There are no failures in Love. Only the refusal to love.

Here are some soulmate keys to remember:
  • Give up waiting: Stop waiting for some special person in order to love.
  • Be love: Begin feeling the love in your heart now, and start offering it each moment.
  • Say “Yes!” Accept and open to the possibility of your right relationship manifesting in your life.
  • Clear the way: Let go of the mental and emotional blocks within yourself that might keep your heart closed.
  • Stay open: Drop any preconceived ideas as to how your soulmate will show up in your life.
  • Let go of time: Let go of the mind and be ready at any moment. Do not limit that person showing up in your life to a certain time. Life and Love is bigger than your mind.
  • Love each moment as your lover: Love as fully as you can in each moment. Love now.
  • When you truly love, you realize that there is no other. Love is the goal, as well as the journey itself.
P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts, and if you feel that you have found your soulmate I would love to hear your short story in the comments below.

P.P.S. If you’d like to know more about my transformational coaching process, check out: www.kuteblackson.com

Do share this blog post with those you feel would enjoy!

79 comments on “Seeking your soulmate is a waste of time.

  1. mt on

    If someone wants to spend a lot of time with you, has a crush on you, and all the attention starts to make you feel like you love them, is that love? What if you don’t surrender to it? Even though you feel love, is that failing? When you decide not to surrender because surrendering is scary and you don’t want to be with that person, and also because you experience a lot of drama, misunderstanding, and anxiety by interacting with them without even being in a relationship.

    Reply
    • Kute Blackson on

      MT. whenever u dont surrender to love it is suffering. IT is not simply about surrendering to a PERSON but to LOVE itself. ALL forms will change. shift. but be committed to loving and the process of love. Everything and everyone gives you that opportunity. Love will bring up layers and show you parts of yourself that are not loving.
      Dont make it about the other person. Open to love and the love in your heart regardless. That doesnt mean the person is right for you or not. But holding back the depth of your heart will only cause suffering.

      Reply
  2. Rita on

    I think love is a choice. We choose who we love. If we choose that this is the person we want to love, then we do. Well. I do. That’s how I live my life. Sometimes, I choose people who are not the man for me, but that becomes clear later. I have things to learn in the meantime, about myself.

    I love this post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. It’s amazing! While I read it, my throat became more and more constricted…and I’m finding it increasinly harder to breathe…but that’s only because I’m getting that’s who I am. Love. That IS who I am. I am the person who lives her life loving. That’s just what I do. Rather, that’s just who I am.

    And it’s a little hard to wrap my head around. But thank you for giving me the words to express it.

    Reply
  3. Lola Babalon on

    Thank you, Kute –
    for your insightful words on the soulmate topic. Much appreciation and agreement.
    “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”
    In fact, if you can’t love the one you’re with (first and foremost yourself) you won’t be able to love another either. The more I practice love-the-one-you’re-with, the more I feel connected to the whole.
    Cheers and happy holidays –
    love always

    Lola B.

    Reply
  4. Victoria K. on

    Hello Dear Friend…
    I am in gratifude for the loving I feel right now-for you and your insiightful words. It is so true no matter where in the world, we ARE looking for that connection. What I’m getting is that desire, that yearning unites us too.

    In this season of miracle births, my wish for all of us is to open to our divinity, our true nature, the loving connection to all that is.
    Sending you big hugs, missing you…
    Victoria (usm)

    Reply
  5. Unity on

    WOWWW..thankyou..It is so freeing to realize who I am really,“True-Pure-Source-Love.” And what a privilege to experience through a mind-body-spirit-soul relationship, an interfacing with this divine SOULMATE-LOVE. Now I celebrate who I am really all the time. It is absolutely beautiful.. It’s so incredible realizing I never again need or think I need anyone to fulfill me.. And what we call relationships with other human beings is now freed to be enjoyed as a BONUS. Wow what a great appreciation is born for others now instead a beggary need.. I luve my amazing SOULMATE-TWINFLAME and yours.. We really are ONE only..

    Reply
  6. Noelle on

    I am not one to usually blog..but i found your words to be inspirational. I was asking the universe and i knew that he opened my heart..he wasn’t with me for very long and now i realize that the longing i feel towards him, is the amount of love i need to give to myself. i believe that i have learned a very important laesson/s about myself through this very confusing and difficult time. Thank you for sharing

    Reply
  7. Sylvia Johnson on

    This is wonderful!! Love this Kute!! It’s important to stay open and be present as the one for you can come at any time and you have to allow yourself to be open and let things flow. Alot of people will miss out on the one they want, when they one they wanted was right in front of their face. Sometimes you get the ones you need to teach you a lesson to show you something you need to heal within yourself as well. Thanks for sharing this love! <3

    Reply
  8. Jasmin on

    Once again your words: a beautiful reminder of the immeasurable power we have to create our own happiness. Thank you for your insight and for the comforting reminder that I am on the right path.

    Reply
  9. Shivakti Shaktiva on

    Bless you Kute, Bro*star, thy beautiful clear mirror. I enjoyed reading your words, ~ while hearing my thoughts, my sentiment, my way of expressing truth & love being reflected & spoken through you. Sat Nam!

    Reply
  10. Dany on

    I was always this person going from one relationship to the next. The max time by myself were 5 weeks and I thought this to be an eternity. I slipped from one relationship to the next, therefore I was never clear on who he was or who I was or what I really wanted — from a relationship or myself.

    I have spent the last full! year by myself. I admit, I did not like it. I still don’t like it, BUT it has to be. It feels right to me. I am getting to know myself, since I am spending all this uninterrupted time with myself.

    I didn’t realize that I liked live concerts so much or that I won’t waste my time going to a Hollywood movie, when I can spend these 2 hours watching an indi movie, which moves me or I didn’t know that I am not the adventure type — ultimately I am finding out who I am.

    I am not looking. He will come.

    As always, you are awesome! Thank you, Kute!!

    Reply
  11. Kevin Burch on

    Wow Kute. I know you as someone who makes profound contributions with your words, your insights, your sharing, your love. But this time you have blown my expectations out of the water. For those who are ready to hear it, this is amazingly profound.

    One thing I get is that loving myself and loving another – it’s the same thing. All there is to do, to be, to have, is love.

    Thank you

    love

    Kevin

    Reply
    • Kute Blackson on

      hi kevin!…

      i am glad that you enjoyed the blog and were touched deeply. the depth at which you were touched my friend is your own depth. keep being LOVE!
      kute

      Reply
  12. Patricia Biesen on

    Thank you Kute,
    I loved this message! So freeing. I can’t tell you how many times I have suffered with “magical thinking” like if I wear this dress or my hair this way he’ll fall for me. What a relief to let go of all that scheming and planning. Such a waste of my energy. I passed this gem on to a few friends of mine. Recently, I’ve been enamored with the Rumi quote: What you seek is seeking you. I am seeking me and I welcome the experience of being with someone I really love. Thank you Kute.

    Reply
  13. Ashley Wright on

    Thanks so much for re affirming feelings that i already had. So much social conditioning had me feeling like a dog chasing her tail. Your words came from a place of truth and I felt its warmth in my soul. Thanks so much for being you 🙂 Namaste ♥

    Reply
  14. Bodhi on

    Yes! If we seek, we can only find what we already know. When we give up seeking, give ourselves in surrender, let life live us, love ourselves fully, unconditionally, blamelessly, without judgement or expectation – in that moment we become open to the unknown, able to recognize the unexpected. In that state of grace anything may appear, from a lost sock to life-changing work, and even a soul-mate. Seeking will keep us busy until dinner is ready, but if we wish to find we must give up the search.

    I reprised the same relationship (with the same results) four times over 40 years. Then I finally learned who I was and was not, learned to love what I found within, and gave up the search. Two months later she appeared. Things that make you say “Hmmmm……” 🙂

    Reply
  15. Олвет on

    Поиск второй половинки через себя – это не есть истина. Человек – это Мужчина+Женщина. По отдельности – это потерянные половинки. Есть такой сайт:
    http://www.olvet.com
    Это построение отображения реального мира.
    Там есть сервис, который ищет половинку для человека. Из многих отбираешь уже по симпатиям.
    Но характеы и интересы в жизни, общее мировоспрятие – гарантированы.
    Зайдите на этот сайт и найдите в нём Олвета. Он ответит вам на вопросы про вашу половинку.
    А то, что здесь говорится – это самообман и уход от истины.

    Олвет.

    Reply
  16. jo on

    After my husband passed away I again found love. It was so wonderful, he was exactly what I needed THEN. But I out grew him, he did not communicate well and really did not love himself. I thought for a time that he was past it, but he needed a lot more time. So I knew in my heart that I had to let go of him even though I still loved him dearly. He was not what I needed for my own spiritual growth. I look back on that time as perfect for that time. Because I knew him I found out more about myself and what was right for me. It was very difficult to end the relationship, but it was the right choice. I am not thinking of a new person in my life but open to the possibility.

    Reply
  17. Lisa on

    This is great. I know that many years ago when I met my husband, who is also my best friend in the whole world, I had given up looking for the right person. I said to myself that who I was meant to be with would come to me when the time was right. I let go….and then it happened. He found me. We had met once before, but life was in the middle of change for both of us and that was alright because I let it go and the love of my life walked back into my life. We have been married for over 14 years and our marriage and friendship, along with our connection has grown stronger…we are in the area of relationships wanting to help other have that connection. He has grown with me as I have finally found how to love and accept myself after some pretty heartbreaking happenings in life. I love him so very much and love what we have as well as myself. Thanks again!

    Reply
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