When you love someone deeply, letting go is never easy.

It might be painful when the time comes to let go of someone you still love but know you need to. Breaking up may have nothing to do with love. You might still love them deeply but are simply no longer a fit.

Sometimes the love it takes to let someone go requires a bigger love than to stay. You might want to stay, but deep down you know that it’s not right, or doesn’t serve either of you fully. It takes a bigger love to let them go and trust love itself.

Sometimes we hold onto old relationships that are too small out of familiarity.

Sometimes we unconsciously hold onto old partners and aren’t even aware that our heart is subtly closed to love, even if only a little bit.

We may even pretend to be confused, but holding on and trying to make a relationship work that doesn’t, won’t make it work.

It’s important to remember that you attract a partner into your life at a particular point because you have certain lessons for each other.

Your souls have made an agreement to serve each other’s growth and evolution long before you met physically.

Each person you attracted into your life at the stage you were in was to teach each other what you both most needed at that time.

Those lessons could last a day, a month or a lifetime.

The meeting with a person is a manifestation of your soul’s longing to grow. The purpose of relationship is to evolve, become the most authentic expression of yourself and realize your true nature.

Your partner will tend to mirror to you those very patterns and places within you that block your full expression.

They are uniquely designed to push your buttons and show you where you most need to grow.

When you both have the understanding of the real purpose of relationship, you are able to relate more consciously. And use your relating as a yoga for your soul’s expansion.

So how do you know when your relationship is over, and how do you let go?

There may come a point when something no longer feels aligned between you or you both stop growing. You are no longer growing individually, and also as a couple. You want different things, and grow in different directions.

The lessons that you have come together to teach each other are now complete. You and your partner are simply no longer a vibrational match.

This isn’t a bad thing, it’s a sign of growth. We often resist this completion, as we get attached to the relationship and the person.

If you and your partner continue to grow together in a similar direction and at a similar pace, then there’s no reason you couldn’t continue in relationship together.

However, many times we stay in a relationship way longer than is healthy or right.

How many of you have done this and known it deep down?

Sometimes a particular relationship or person has a very specific thing to gift you. They may not have everything you need in a relationship, but they have a part of what you most need at that time in your life. As you embrace the lesson, you heal and become more open and ready to love more completely. They have come to help prepare you for your life partnership.

Although it is very important, the ultimate commitment isn’t simply to each other as human beings in a relationship. As you both have your own unique soul journeys and will both change with time.

The ultimate commitment is to LOVE itself. Then your relationship is held in a bigger context. And no matter what happens, or if the form of your relationship changes, your commitment to love remains.

Even if you stop being in a relationship, the loving between you both doesn’t need to stop.

When your commitment is to love, you become committed to finding the most authentic form and expression of relating between you that would allow the most love to be expressed. This may mean you are together a whole lifetime, or it may mean 10 years.

Committing to love is really committing fully to serving your partners soul growth. It is a courageous commitment beyond your ego’s desire.

It not just about how long you stay together that determines success, although that can certainly be a part.

It is about the depth at which you loved fully, healed deeply, learned your soul lessons, and served each other’s growth.

Remember this:

– In loving fully, there are no losers. When you love fully, you always win because you get the growth of opening your heart. No one can take that opening away from you.

– Trust love. If it’s not meant to be with the person you are letting go of, then there must be someone even better waiting for you. Love is abundant and not limited to one person, as amazing as they may be.

Sometimes we get so attached to a particular person being the one. You have visions of spending the rest of your life with them, you see children, you could never imagine being with anyone else. It’s beautiful if that’s your destiny together in this life.

And it’s important to know that if you are truly meant to be together, then nothing will stop it. It just may not be the right time yet, and there may be experiences that you both need to go through to better prepare you to be in relationship with each other.

If your relationship is meant to be, nothing will stop it. If your relationship isn’t meant to be, nothing will make it. Let go and see.

– Surrender. Real love requires surrender. And in letting go, you have the opportunity to open to bigger love beyond what you think should be.

Sometimes it makes no sense why it can’t work out with someone you love so much. It might even sometimes feel like a cruel joke of the universe. But in reality, it’s a profound opportunity to surrender fully, to let go of control, and allow the highest good to unfold in your life.

Trust that you will love again, even if in the moment of letting go it seems far out. You will. You heart is resilient and powerful beyond what you can imagine. There are galaxies exploding in your veins each second. There is a miracle beating inside your heart. You are love and it’s the nature of love to love.

– Be tender with yourself in the process of letting go. Be gentle and make the space for grief. Make the room for sadness. Knowing as you let yourself authentically feel your tears, it will wash away the old and open you to the new.

– Thank and bless your ex. Any moment you have the opportunity to share your heart in the most vulnerable way with another human being is a true privilege and blessing.

Think about it for a moment…. You have served each other. Even though it may not have worked out how you thought or wished it to, their soul was the one that chose to teach you the tough lessons. Just think about the depth of love that their soul must have had for you to teach you those lessons. Bless them. Thank them. Love them.

Letting go of a person isn’t just about letting go of an external person. But it’s also about letting go of what they might represent within yourself, that may no longer reflect who you have become today. Ultimately you are letting go of that part of yourself. And opening to what is more right for you in love.

Sometimes just as you are about to let go, the person you were in relationship with shows up in your life. I have found that often it’s a test.  It gives you the opportunity to truly heal any incompletions, choose to graduate the old relationship lessons and move on, rather than repeating the same karmic cycle again.

So beware if this happens.

Some people go back into relationship with the ex. And if you choose to go back to an old relationship, really make sure your ex partner has evolved and done the inner work necessary to show up fully in reality, in relationship with you today.

So what if breaking up with your romantic partner was done with as much love and respect as falling in love? Ultimately it’s not like the love goes away, simply the form of the love needed a different expression.

The love is always there.

Love is what you are.

When you let go, you allow the space for a bigger love to show up.

Trust love.



P.S. If you are ready to share your gifts with the world and live your purpose fully, join me at www.boundlessblissbali.com. Apply today for an interview!

P.P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!


9 comments on “How to Let Go of a Relationship

  1. Tirza on

    I wanted to share two things here. The first is that my very dear friend Marilyn Holzmann loves doing research on the origins of words. She has told me that the origin of the words “love” comes from medieval times (if I remember correctly, it was around the 13th century in this case) and actually means “freedom.” So loving someone is setting that person free. I have had to let go off a lot of people in my life because I moved out of their frequency range. Friends, not romantic partners. My problem was that I love them and feel very strongly about loyalty and friendship. So I manifested them one after the other dumping me, because I guess I didn’t want to be “the bad guy,” even though I know very well that there are no real victims. Nothing can happen to you that you have not allowed on some level of (un-/sub-)consciousness. I had felt that the relationships were becoming unhealthy because there was either stagnation or these people were actually lowering my own vibrations. And I allowed it out of misunderstood friendship loyalty. You know, women in general tend to have a hard time with saying no and being assertive and talking straight. They suffer in silence to not hurt or antagonize the other person, hoping it’ll become better again. At the same time, it is important to let go with love and not create a drama to have an excuse to end a relationship of whatever kind. I’d say, I have to learn this, but I’ve already let go of all the people that were no longer a vibrational match. So for now, taking a break from that and dealing only with positive, high energy people. -Which, incidentally, feels so much more freeing. Which means loving, haha! Thank you for your wonderfully inspiring video and spreading your smile. it’s catching. Love and light! Tirza <3

    • Kute Blackson on

      Thank you for your heartfelt share Tirza!!! Yes, experiencing letting go on many levels… and doing so with love is the only way to be truly free. Keep on loving and trusting and expressing!!! Love is freedom. Beautiful.

  2. Spring on

    Thank you Kute.

    “Their soul was the one that chose to teach you the tough lessons. Just think about the depth of love that their soul must have had for you to teach you those lessons. Bless them. Thank them. Love them”

    I was betrayed by my fiance for another woman. I was living in hell when I couldn’t find out the actual reason why he started to abuse me by unkind words and started to avoid me in every possibilities. Then one day I saw all their chats about me. That woman was pressuring him to let me go as he told her that he lost interest in me n even said God need to save his life from me! I was really heart broken after reading that cz I have tolerated all his nonsense in the past n kept quite fr the fear of losing him. I hv been abused physically cz I never let him go. All this may sound so crazy that even I feel how stupid am I for being wt a man who back-stabbed me fr another woman.

    How can I relate my experience with your quote above. Please advise.

  3. Dani Jackson on

    Please add me to your mailing list too? This was awesome and everything I am experiencing right now. My boyfriend and I broke up three months ago and it was so hard letting go because we still loved each other and I grieved and let him go but then just recently he’s reappeared in my life which has thrown my world upside down because I still love him but I feel and know we are just not right or compatible with each other but I am once again attached to him. He’s been in my life again for the last four weeks and I know in my heart I’m going to have to walk away and let him go. Only problem is finding the courage to let him go again. Your words are truly awesome and everything I believe in! Thank you for this today. 🙂

  4. Cheree on

    I just wanted to say thank you so much. I’m currently going through a breakup & found that reading & rereading this blog is helping me so much. Your words are bringing an abundance of healing comfort & support I need to get through the day. Sending much gratitude to you for the reminder to make Love my highest commitment. xo


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