We all have those people in our lives that somehow manage to push our buttons.

They trigger you.

Piss you off.

Get under your skin.

They can be mean, inconsiderate, difficult to deal with, irrational, unreasonable, crazy, and seem to make your life hell.

Perhaps it’s your boss, your ex, your parents, an acquaintance, even a friend.

These people can seem impossible to deal with.

First understand that their behavior is not personal. I know it might sometimes seem that way when their energy is directed towards you.

How they treat you reveals more about themselves than it does about you.

They are already in pain, whether conscious or not, and unfortunately you happen to be the target they are projecting it towards. But it really has nothing to do with you.

How can they be kind to you if chances are they aren’t being kind to themselves?

The more you take it personally, the more you hook yourself into conflict with them.

By attacking back in retaliation, you allow them to bring you down to their level and simply empower them more. Reacting back with hate and anger simply perpetuates the situation and resolves nothing.

Choose not to play that game.

Do not give them the gift of hating them.

You can close your heart and collapse in response to how they treat you. You can let it harden your heart and make you mean. In doing so, you let them control you and have allowed them to determine who you are going to be and how you are going to express. You have given them your power.

It may not always be easy, but you always have a choice how to respond in any given situation and with anyone.

You have a choice.

So when dealing with a seemingly “impossible” person, imagine that inside of them is a little child. For some, that inner child is in more pain than others which is why they act the way they do. It’s not an excuse to condone how they might treat you, just a way to stay centered in your heart.

If you are able to remember that child inside of them, it makes it easier to step back and meet them with compassion. When you respond with love you then set yourself free.

It doesn’t mean you have to accept abuse, or even keep interacting with that person. Set your boundaries. Take care of yourself. Speak your truth. Do what you feel is right to honor yourself, but do it with compassion.

Remember that these impossible people give you the greatest opportunity to live your love. They are angels sent to you in disguise that will cause you to grow the most.

They are your spiritual teachers sent to ensure that you are living in reality what you know deep in your heart.

You can shut down or you can bless them and thank their souls.

Imagine if Gandhi didn’t have impossible people opposing him?

Imagine if Mandela didn’t have impossible people who put him in prison for 26 years?

Choose to embrace the opportunity they are giving you to be a higher expression of love.

There are no impossible people, just bigger opportunities for you to love.

Will you love that big?



P.S. If you are ready to fully step into your power and live your authentic life’s purpose, join me for the transformational journey of a lifetime at www.boundlessblissbali.com July 4-15, 2016. Apply now if you feel the calling.

P.P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts on the comments below.

And please share this blog with all those you love!

7 comments on “How To Deal With Impossible People

  1. Jill on

    This blog is so timely, as I am dealing with a “difficult” coworker. I was thinking it is likely an opportunity to practice what I know to be true. The not taking it personally, though, and the not hardening my heart parts have been difficult to live by daily, especially in the face of the consistent, blatant insults, but your words have come to reassure me to not give in to reacting less than who I know God created me to be. Thank you, Kute. Lots of love!

  2. Sloane on

    Mind blowing blog as always Kute! You deliver the rawness of what we all need to hear, feel and open our minds and hearts up to. This was the icing on the cake for me and I thank you for sharing your expensive, enlightening knowledge.

    Blessings & Big Love,
    Sloane Shavel

  3. Ann-Kristin on

    Thank You, Kute. Thank You very much.
    You are truly connected with your Heart and your wonderful Soul.
    Thank You, Ann-Kristin*

  4. Martha on

    Thank you, Kute.
    How true, I have learned the lesson, on not taking it personally.
    Not reacting in anger lets me keep my peace and my power.
    Always great blogs,thanks.

  5. Kristina on

    Funny, yesterday I had met another “difficult person” in form of a healer (I am ill and search help). When I saw him first time, something told me “not good”, I did not trusted something in him (my big issue about ” will I not meet some immoral jerk I cannot be on the same page -no healing possible for me, I start distrust such people), but I was pushed by a family member to keep seeing this guy. 2nd time, I hold myself together, 3rd time I said who I was (I was against corruption, clientelism and said something like this in the context of “healers”). I guess this guy started to dislike me, be afraid of me, he did no job, he said “come again”, but I felt he did not want to say anything like this. Later on, he lied “he was sick” when he asked for another session (as he told and me being in fear that if I don´t give it a shot, I¨d be sick forever). Finally, I came again, he changed his mind (?). I felt that he already knew he wants to “get rid of me”, the session was only few minutes and he started to tell me that I should not always say what I think (in a indirect way), he talked very broadly (as at the beginning…like people who don´t want to say the deal, what their opinion is), he said that he in the time of communism in the country went to work and did not tell to anybody what he thinks (basically, he had “friends”, people who helped hiim to have a job etc, but he was not opened with them. I met several of such people, I was angry of the rejection they applied towards me, I was angry at me that I did not listen to my intuition at the very beginning, angry at my family member that she does not trust me and holds me “for difficult to get healthy” (I talk too much, don´t trust such people). I was thinking what kind of lesson there might be ? The pain behind lying, clientelism, corruption and the fact that I don´t always need to be that reactive, that judging (because I do often act against my fear and have not so much compassion or tolerance for ” weakness of morals”)….I refuse to see this “last hope for healing for me” as my fault, him talking about me. I felt in THE MOMENT that he was talking about him, about his life of almost 80 years, how he lied vs. read spiritual books, did yoga, prayed…but lied every day anyway. I felt he hold me for “idiot”, he hated me for telling the truth, I probably said something he thought was about him…and the result was the rejection of mine, to help me. If it would be the lesson in there, it feels huge -feel the pain of someone else who causes lots of pain to me, because he dismisses my sickness, tells me I am not ok in my head, refuses to help (perhaps who could have). He blames me, but indeed, he blames himself. When I was leaving, I felt “it is over” because he rejected me for me opening myself and say, ask what I mean. I wished him good health (perhaps in pleasing way, I caught myself thinking what do I want to wish him really and it came to my mind that he said he was sick). He replied the same wish to me in a sarcastic way, like pushing me away, telling me “I know you make fun of me…as if I had a bad intention. So much mistrust. I cannot do anything with it unless to listen to my intuition and when I feel it again, perhaps leave the situation, person as soon as possible, don´t listen to my Ego ? The feeling of rejection for being who I am is very very tough for me. I have tons of defense mechanism to never feel it again. The lesson for me ? I cannot change if other people are not a fit. I cannot. I have to be myself. Better to show it sooner than later. Listen to my mistrust, trust that I should not trust (I usually do the opposite and force myself to “overtrust”, and slowly stop trusting that there are some “my people” or that I will ever find them. Perhaps I can heal myself, perhaps I am better than I thought….I could trust myself more, take my power back and don´t search desperately for someone else to help me (then, I could eventually truly find someone to help).

  6. Kristina on

    I like the idea of raising the consciousness through love (better than through fighting, aggression -my current path). I could imagine it as a nice purpose of life. It makes fun. However, the love part is a difficult one. I could imagine that I planed a seed in the mind of that healer old person that staying truthful to himself is better ? I guess I will never see him again, but this healer is definitely an opportunity to love bigger, to have compassion, to understand and let it go, set myself free, trust myself that I help myself or I will find someone to help me while not being angry at this “difficult person” for too long.


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