There’s so much talk in spiritual books about giving up your expectations.
Consider this instead: Give up your expectations that you should have no expectations.
It’s not always your expectations that cause you suffering but the degree to which you are attached to them.
The expectation that you will have no expectations is sure to cause you much suffering as its not realistic.
Embrace your expectations consciously. Be aware of what they actually are so that you can choose if they are healthy or not. Many of our expectations are unconscious to ourselves, let alone another person. When you know what they are, you can communicate what you need with those around you.
Expectations are normal to have as a human being. Living with no expectations may not always be wise.
There are healthy expectations and unhealthy expectations.
When you go through life having a positive sense of expectancy that the universe is on your side and seeking to support you can be a very inspiring outlook.
Having a clear and healthy expectation of how you want to be treated in relationships, either with friends, family or romantically, can be an expression of self-love and self-respect. Remember people treat you how you teach them to treat you, and you end up getting what you settle for. So don’t settle for mediocrity from yourself or those in your life.
On the other hand, there are certain expectations that will cause you suffering:
The expectation that the experience you are having be different than what it is – Resisting your current reality will keep you stuck. Embracing your current reality frees your energy up to focus on the actions you can take to change your reality.
The expectation that other people be different than they are – You have no ultimate control over what people do. So when your happiness is tied up with people being a certain way, it only brings suffering.
The expectation that you be different than you are – On the spiritual path, we sometimes have this notion that by working on ourselves we will reach a kind of ideal state where we never react, get upset or sad. This isn’t realistic and only leads to pain when we aren’t able to meet the standard of perfection we set for ourselves. The journey of life and being human is not about being a perfect person but to embrace all of who you are along the way.
As you learn to embrace what and who you are now, not simply when you become more healed or arrive at some perfected enlightened version of yourself in the future, you are free. It’s when you love yourself even with your imperfections and sometimes seeming brokenness that healing happens.
The more you can love your darkness the more space there is for your light to shine through.
Life expects nothing from you.
You are loved unconditionally by existence.
Just as you are.
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