So what do you do when someone you love is stuck, angry or in pain, but they are unwilling to do what it takes to change?

They simply don’t want to let go yet, or just aren’t ready to make a shift at this time.

We all have people in our lives who we love and care about. Whether it’s a spouse. A child. A good friend. A co-worker. Or a sibling.

It can be frustrating at times to see them stuck or in pain, especially since you love them, want what’s best for them and can see their potential.

We must always remember that every human being has their own journey and unique life lessons that they need to learn.

Their life lessons aren’t your life lessons. You do not have to take them on.

And not everyone will learn those lessons at a pace that you think they should. Every soul has its own perfect timetable that’s right for them.

Ultimately, you can’t change people. People only change when they are ready. You can be supportive by providing the environment, the experience and the invitation to shift, but they have to be ready and committed.

If you really love someone, stop trying to change them. Accept them exactly as they are and give up the idea that they should be any different.

Then you can truly be in relationship with who they are rather than your ideal of who you think they should be.

Freedom is when you are no longer in resistance.

If someone you love is stuck and they aren’t ready to shift, simply love them without any judgment. Allow them the dignity of their own process. And trust that they will come through it when they are ready.

Rather than preaching about who you think they should be, or telling them how you think they should live their life, simply be the presence of unconditional love in their life. This creates a space of compassion and safety that they will feel.

Let how YOU live your life inspire those around you to make changes and grow to their next level.

Who are you BEING?

They may not be receptive or ready to make changes now, and you can judge them for where they are at, which serves nothing.

Or you can keep your attention focused on seeing the magnificence of who they really are and reflecting that back to them.

You can also silently bless them with love and kindness.

You can’t change anyone. But you don’t have to let them change who you are being in the world.

Those you love who are stuck or unwilling to change are your best teachers, giving you the opportunity to practice unconditional love more deeply.

Simply… Love them.



P.S. If you feel ready to take your life to the next level, join me on the transformational journey of a lifetime at July 4-15th in 2016!! Apply now! 

P.P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

3 comments on “How To Deal With People You Love That Don’t Want To Change!

  1. Suzanne on

    Dear Kute,

    Thank you for your blog post on wanting loved ones to change. In my experience, the more loved ones try to change a person, the more the person resists. Many times, loved ones think they have the entire picture and they do not. Also, what human being is so perfect that they are in a place to know how someone else should be. Control and manipulation just breeds more resistence. As you said, it calls for unconditional love, and much patience, that old “detach with love.” Thanks again, Suzanne

  2. Flower-Jayne on

    Kute, I know I am stuck and in physical pain, how can I move forward and heal? I want to experience how wonderful I really am. Big Hugs, Flower x

  3. Ginnie on

    Thank-You Kute,
    There are a lot of my family members that I would love to raise the magic wand and make them change their toxic addictions. It’s hard to watch them go through the pain they are causing themselves and others .
    I thank you again for reminding me it’s their journey in life and to just be quiet.


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