Suffering can be an addiction.

Misery can become familiar and comfortable in a strange way.

It takes no courage to be miserable.

It takes real courage to be happy.

The root of misery is control. Control is the master addiction, the hardest to give up.

Control is an illusion, as there is so much in life that is not in your control. When you try and control what you cannot, then suffering is your guaranteed result.

You will be controlled by what you try and control. The more you try and be in control, you may find the less control you gain.

So much of our lives are spent trying to control things in the external world to try and feel internal peace. This will never lead to freedom.

As children in an effort to not feel the pain of certain experiences, we learned to shut down and not feel. We learned to develop all sorts of ways to protect ourselves from getting hurt and feeling pain. We developed all sorts of strategies to get love, approval and validation. We learned how and who to be in order to not feel the same pain again as children. We developed all sorts of intricate survival mechanisms.

All of this was in an effort to control our experience. The underlying intention was positive, to keep us safe or be loved, but as we become adults, those same mechanisms now limit your full expression.

What are you resisting in your life?

When you resist you suffer.

Trying to control your spouse, the weather, the government, the economy or your friends is a formula for guaranteed misery.

When you realize that you are really not in control, there is a great freedom. Life has been here for billions of years before you. Life will be here long after you are gone.

What if Life is not to be controlled, but simply to be enjoyed each moment? Each moment has a gift for you, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.

The more you try and control life, the more anxious you are likely to feel. When you let go of control, things might indeed fall apart. But if they do, then trust that they needed to. It wasn’t authentically aligned with you in the first place.

So surrender, let go and see what is seeking to happen for you. Trust that what remains will be for your highest good.

Resisting life and what is happening is a form of self punishment.

It’s when you accept life as it is and as it isn’t, then you bring yourself into the flow. When you no longer resist life, then you can meet the moment powerfully.

Acceptance sets you free.

Resistance creates suffering. Whilst in a state of suffering, you cannot effectively take action. Resistance just keeps you stuck where you are.

It’s when you are able to accept what is, you are then free to choose how to respond and deal with the situation effectively.

Let me make clear that just because you accept reality, doesn’t mean you have to stay there. Accepting means you stop banging your head against the brick wall, trying to change what you cannot change.

Trying to change what cannot be changed is insanity.

You hold the lock and you hold the key.

At any moment you can set yourself free.

It’s then you experience a new reality.

Your freedom is in your hands.

You choose.



P.S. If you feel ready to take your life to the next level, join me on the transformational journey of a lifetime at July 4-15th. Apply now!

P.P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

And please share this blog with all those you love!

2 comments on “How To End Suffering and Be Happy

  1. Ginnie givens on

    Hi Kute ,
    Again well said!! Love your spirit ,love your message. We all know someone who is addicted to what I call it… drama….
    Thank you so much.


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