Just the word itself can sometimes feel scary.

In our culture we tend to shy away from it. Often from a young age we are taught to suppress our authentic anger. We are told that it is not OK, it’s not appropriate, it’s not spiritual.

So we learn to disconnect and suppress our anger in order to be loved, and accepted by those around us.

The problem is, what you don’t feel and express in conscious healthy ways will inevitably end up coming out and expressing in unhealthy ways.

Here’s a few simple points to consider:

  1. Anger is a signal, neither good or bad. It’s telling you that something inside you is needing attention. So rather than see it as something bad, begin to see it as a blessing. When you listen and embrace the message of your anger you can feel your truth more deeply and make choices that are self-honoring.
  2. Give yourself full permission to feel the anger. Anger is simply energy. We are often afraid to feel it because we sometimes think it will last forever. But no feelings are permanent. All feelings have a natural cycle and fully felt will dissolve. Often underneath the anger is a deeper sadness, so feel it fully and let it go.
  3. Create spaces in your life to be able to acknowledge, feel and express the anger. If your life is so busy with work, friends/family or distractions, you may not be able to access the anger that is inside you. Allow yourself to have quiet moments of stillness, where you can feel, journal, move your body or whatever you need to do in order to express your anger in healthy ways.
  4. Sometimes we hold onto anger because there is a payoff. If you are stuck in anger, ask yourself, “What’s the payoff for holding on?” Perhaps you get to be right. Or by holding onto anger, you use it as a protection from risking opening your heart again. Be honest with yourself.

Regardless of what happened in your past, take responsibility for how you feel today. You can’t control what happened then, but you can control what happens now. When you decide to let go and forgive, you set yourself free. This is a power that you own.

That’s not to say that the things that others did were OK, and it wouldn’t be nice if they apologized. But to wait is to put your freedom in their hands. Your freedom and forgiveness doesn’t have to depend on someone else’s apology. You don’t NEED someone else to get closure. Getting closure is an inner process with yourself. You get closure when you take responsibility, forgive, let go and live your life fully.

Nothing and no one is worth your freedom.

Life is too short.

Any unnecessary moments spent in anger are moments wasted that cannot be returned.

Live your life.



P.S. If you feel ready to go to the next level in your life, reclaim your power and live your true life’s purpose, join me on a life-changing journey, Apply if you are ready.

P.P.S. Please share your comments below and share this blog with all those you love!

3 comments on “How To Deal With Your Anger

  1. Zora on

    AWESOME topic, Kute. So timely, as usual. Then again, most any topic is relevant in this day and age, isn’t it? Anger, however, is a particularly hot one (no pun intended), for all the reasons you mentioned, ie. society and family and peers have long held the status quo of suppressing anger as being “inappropriate”. Well, it IS inappropriate, in certain settings. We would not want to lose our cool at Christmas dinner, for instance! However, your suggestions of setting aside some time expressly for allowing any anger to arise – by yourself or privately with the involved parties – is brilliant. We are all so focused on ONLY creating positive vibes these days, but there is a danger that this very potent part of ourselves is merely being squashed down inside, where it can fester into something stronger. Thank you SO MUCH for this re-minder! Many blessings!

  2. Elizabeth Nimmo on

    I totally agree that squashing ones anger as a young adult will find a way to resurface later on in life. Whether it be having to deal with an addicted parent, being abandoned or feeling unwanted by a parent, a child will grow up with this anger festering in their minds and soul and eventually it will resurface in a negative way. That is why therapy is so important to these young adults because they can express their anger to someone who will not judge them for their feelings. Squelching one’s anger will result in possible addiction, or dysfunctional future relationships. That is why I say please get help before it is too late. I have witnessed this anger in a family member and I know it to be very destructive.


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