“Do you REALLY love her?” I asked.

“Yes, but I am afraid, I just don’t know if I can commit to her”.

How many times have you heard this, or said this yourself?

Many of my friends have recently expressed to me that they are afraid of committing to a relationship.

Ponder this:

The real commitment is to Love itself.

When you commit to love itself, it’s then that you are truly free. All forms will change. Your lover will change. They won’t be the same person that they were when you met them. You will change. You will grow, mature and evolve.  The relationship itself will also change.

When you commit to Love you commit to what is real. There is never a guarantee that a relationship will work out or that you will feel the same way 10 years from now, let alone 10 months from now.  When you commit to loving then no matter what happens to the relationship you “win”. Whether you stay together or not, you grow, evolve and expand.

What you can offer is the most authentic expression of your heart to your lover, moment to moment, with the intention of growing together.

In reality, you never know what will happen tomorrow. Whether you will be alive, or not? What you can be honest with is, what you feel most deeply now.

As you keep doing so, it leads to another now, and another now, and that now might last 1 year, 5 years, 25 years, or the rest of your life.

What you can commit to is being true to yourself first, and then true to your lover.  Your relationship can then remain a fresh and alive adventure.

We are often afraid that:

– It won’t work out.

– I can’t just be with one person.

– He/She will leave me.

– What if there is someone else better out there?

– I will lose my freedom

– What if I am making a mistake?

Even if you do break up, that doesnt mean you failed. Breaking up can also be a sign of commitment to your self and your partner, if this is your deepest truth. And staying in a relationship, might actually reveal not being committed, if it is not your truth.

Let your commitment be to serving the evolution of your lovers soul and not just their physical form.Then you become a true SOULmate.

Commit to serving the SOUL in your lover. Recognize that your lover is a portal into the Infinite.  Your lover is a manifestation of the Divine in a human body. Your lover is a sacred temple in whom you have the opportunity to serve.

When you remember who you really are, you recognize who your lover really is, and in this place committment takes on a deeper dimension. You are committed to way more than another “body” or personality.

In this commitment surrendering into love is a deeper freedom. You surrender your fears, insecurities, mind, control, and open to something bigger than your self.

What we often think of as being independent, and free isn’t necessarily freedom. We must be careful not be become slaves to our fears, and resistance in the name of “independence”.

When you know who you are, then you trust yourself, and in doing so trust who you are choosing to be in relationship with.

As you find the freedom within yourself, the real commitment is to a deeper surrender to your partner as GOD.

Then you are God’s and Goddess’s in a dance of relationship, sharing the freedom of Love.



P.S. Women: If you a ready for big love, and to transform the hidden blocks that keep you from having the love you deserve. Join me at www.themanbreakthroughexperience.com May 15-17th. You can sign up now for the special price!

11 comments on “I’m Afraid of Committing in a Relationship, HELP!

  1. Deborah on

    Sooo appreciate your deep-wisdom Kute! Especially on this subject matter! Soo well expressed AND TRUE!!! IF we can all Live-THIS–Ahhhhhhh–!!!
    Thank YOU Beauti-FULL Brother!


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