Sometimes you can love someone and they don’t love you back in the way that you would like.

You might feel a deep connection with them in your heart.  You might have had dreams about them. You might feel you are meant to marry them and have children.

It can be painful to love someone and that love not be reciprocated, especially if you feel so much for that person.

It can be so painful sometimes that you might be tempted to close your heart and not feel it.

It can also be easy to feel rejected by the other person and spiral into feeling that you aren’t good enough. That if you were, they would love you back.

But this is not true

Whenever you close your heart and stop loving it’s YOU that loses.

To keep your heart open even when another person is loving you back, you must let go of the relationship that you think you should have with them. We sometimes have our own idea of how we think a relationship should be with another and we impose that onto them. This only creates suffering.

So stop projecting onto them and having an imaginary relationship with them in your mind.

It’s not loving to control and impose your idea of what you think the relationship should be onto someone else. It simply limits love.

Just because you meet someone and have a deep connection doesn’t automatically mean romance or whatever you make up in your mind.

Let go of the person and surrender the relationship beyond how you think it should be. Then you make yourself available for the highest expression that is meant to be between you.

If you keep your heart open and remain curious then the authentic relationship can blossom.

Real love allows for the highest good and is unconditional. Real love requires surrender, and when you surrender, you not only open yourself to miracles but you are truly free.

Surrender is the key and a major life lesson that we are here to learn.

Trust that what is meant for you will be YOURS. Nothing can change that. So it’s pointless to force someone to try and love you.

If you force and manipulate someone to love you, you might succeed for a moment. But deep down there’s always a fear that they will stop.

When you let go and remain open, you can have peace in knowing that if they love you back then it’s real.

When you choose to not let someone’s loving you or not loving you determine your loving then you are free.

When you depend on them loving you back or responding to your love in a certain way, then you have given your power away.

Remember that:

You are LOVE.

You ARE love..

YOU are love.

And when you love, you always win.

When you open your heart and love, YOU expand. Whether it’s reciprocated or not. Whether the other person notices or not.

Each time you love, you open and you grow. No one can take this away from you. It’s your expansion.

When you love big, you open yourself to receiving at the same level at which you loved.

Consider this: The person who doesn’t love you back in the way that you want is an angel in disguise inviting you to love unconditionally.

Sometimes it’s those that don’t love you back that teach you the most about loving unconditionally. It’s easy to love when you get what you want.

What about when you don’t?

Can you embrace the bigger opportunity for your soul to love?

It may mean that you need to let the person go completely and simply love them from a far. But you do not need to stop loving them.

If you love them, then love them because that’s what you are committed to doing for YOU.

Loving is an inner commitment.

Commit to being BIG love.



P.S. If you are ready to transform the hidden blocks that keep you from love and creating the life of your dreams, join me and women from all over the world October 9-11th at: in Los Angeles. Sign up Now for discounted price and bring a family member for Free!

P.P.S. I would love to hear your comments below!

9 comments on “How To Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back

  1. Julie on

    I needed to hear this message so bad. I’m in love with my ex, who just wants to be “best friends”. I’ve been projecting my idea of what I think our love should be like, and it has only put a rift in our friendship.
    Thank you Thank you Thank you for the enlightenment !!!!

  2. Ann-Kristin on

    Thank you so very much, Kute.
    I have a feeling you can read my life.
    You always (!) talk about my situation on the day I receive your video.
    What a Miracle.
    Your words and your aura really help & nourish my soul.
    So thank you very much, Kute & all the best for you.

  3. Sloane on


    I must say every time I listen to one of your Blogs, you blow me away!!
    This blog has made me see what I have not been understanding in so many ways, with how I have been connecting with men I have dated, family members I have expected things from, etc.
    You are a beautiful inspiration to listen to and so wise beyond your years.
    Thanks for sharing all you do and I am committed to LOVING BIG!!

    Sending you Love & Blessings!

  4. Ashley on

    I think when I initially read this, it tripped my Spiritual / Relationship Counselor wire and I was like absolutely not… as in I would never suggest someone devote energy to chasing someone who didn’t really feel the same way back… but I think that you have to go deeper… I think you’re saying LOVE in the broad sense of the word and if you feel that way for someone – it might not look the way you think it ought to look, and it’s not about you “being in love” or tethering yourself to someone who doesn’t love you back, which is really not healthy… it’s about expanding your OWN capacity for love to just love in general without any limits, without any expectations… It’s breaking free of the stories that we are telling ourselves and just loving to freaking love… is that true freedom? When we realize it doesn’t come from anyone else… which also means that no one else can take it away… no one else can really control our emotions and yet… in relationships we get these beautiful opportunities to serve as mirrors… to see into ourselves more deeply for healing and also for acknowledgement of how far we’ve come… so it truly is a gift in each exchange we have and yet so often, we, short change the gift because it “wasn’t what we wanted” when really God(love) never gives us what we want but what we “need” or really… more of what we are… love! And opportunities to grow more fully into it… thanks for this… I played with it until it felt right to me…I challenged it until I formed the understanding, and I’m grateful for that opportunity, so thanks for serving this up. Much Love.

  5. Kristina on

    In my family and later in my adult life I met “bad people”, not only rejecting, but also hurting. I spend most of my time to set me free from their conditioning and learning how to recognise similar patterns in people, but those past experience definitely close my heart. I see in my e-mails before meeting my ex how opened, loving and welcoming, warm person I was (but on autopilot) and how I feel the pain, mistrust and hate today. The lesson for me would be -to learn more love, even “bad people” – I am not sure if I´d ever make it and see not much reason why it should be me to learn to love them. On the other way, I see no other practical way out of the hurt -just love (the best protection).


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